I just want to meet a cute girl with a nice bong

T.R: “You have really big nipples..”

Me: looking at nipples, “really? I guess so, your nipples are fucking huge.”

T.R: “I said pink nipples….”

Me: “oh…yeah they are pretty pink.”

It is the year 2014 and I cannot find someone to sell me weed. I could literally drive less than ten miles, go to a store, buy a shotgun/rifle and as much ammo as I want and then go on to murder a bunch of people and myself but I cannot buy a plant

It’s like the second you can’t get weed from your guy everyone else just throws their fucking phones in the ocean

sometimes I just want things to go a little well, they don’t even have to pan out, just to have a spell of optimism 

Using the rest of someone’s coffee and replacing it with decaf is akin to using the rest of someone’s cocaine and replacing it with sugar

Now that I have a Blackberry I’m ready to dominate 2008



that’s it that’s the whole argument.

That’s literally the best way i’ve ever seen to describe it.