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Its like people have become so desperate to have a cause to define themselves with that they will literally pick anything  to be their cause. Like people out there trying to defend sharks and how they are negatively perceived by humans, like sharks actually give a fuck how they are perceived by us. sheeeit

I just want to meet a cute girl with a nice bong

T.R: “You have really big nipples..”

Me: looking at nipples, “really? I guess so, your nipples are fucking huge.”

T.R: “I said pink nipples….”

Me: “oh…yeah they are pretty pink.”

It is the year 2014 and I cannot find someone to sell me weed. I could literally drive less than ten miles, go to a store, buy a shotgun/rifle and as much ammo as I want and then go on to murder a bunch of people and myself but I cannot buy a plant

It’s like the second you can’t get weed from your guy everyone else just throws their fucking phones in the ocean

sometimes I just want things to go a little well, they don’t even have to pan out, just to have a spell of optimism 

Using the rest of someone’s coffee and replacing it with decaf is akin to using the rest of someone’s cocaine and replacing it with sugar

Now that I have a Blackberry I’m ready to dominate 2008